Everyone’s looking for that special someone: a partner to confide in and to love unconditionally. Those who have already found “the one” know that the right person can transform an ordinary experience into an unforgettable memory. But while there is no shortage of websites, programs and apps available to search for love, finding it remains quite difficult.
This summer, eight Lehigh Valley singles divulge their personal love stories—or lack thereof. Experience life from the perspective of these sophisticated singles still navigating the dating world. Each reveals a different shade of local single life. And let’s just say, there may be more than fifty.
Alexa Tersigni
30 | Easton
A born and raised Valley girl—Lehigh that is—Alexa is a REALTOR® for Berkshire Hathaway Fox & Roach in Bethlehem, and she adores her job. “I feel incredibly grateful to be able to do what I do and help people find their dream home,” she says. Her job affords her a lot of flexibility, so on most days (and even weekends), Alexa starts working as soon as her alarm goes off. Regarding her love life, she’s been single for about six months now, and she says, “It’s allowed me to really focus on myself and figure out what I want and need.” That being said, she’s still open to meeting and connecting with someone new. If she’s not cooking, baking, reading, spending time with her nephews, meditating or doing yoga, Alexa is probably out sipping wine or having dinner with friends.
“I love the Lehigh Valley; I’m very proud to call it home,” she says, “and I continue to meet so many amazing people.” Although, generally speaking, she doesn’t intentionally go out looking to meet other single people. “I just love good food and atmosphere,” she says, frequenting places like Bolete, River Grille, Molinari’s and Colonial Pizza and Spaghetti House. She admits, “I’m a sucker for pizza and a beer.” A recent, much-loved date she went on was when her mom, sister and best friends took her out to dinner and drinks for her 30th birthday. “My family and friends are everything to me; it was amazing,” she said.
But, in all seriousness, Alexa’s dating criteria doesn’t demand a long list of extraordinary attributes. She’s looking for someone with nice eyes, confidence, a sense of humor and who can hold a thought-provoking conversation. Referencing a quote from Chris Rock, she proposed that a gourmet meal with a dull, fatuous person is just a terrible meal. Therefore, “It’s all about company,” she says. “A hot dog with an interesting person is an amazing meal.” Reflecting on her experience navigating the dating scene for years, she says, “Timing and communication are everything. I could meet someone who is perfect for me, but if I’m not on the same page, it just
doesn’t work.”
Adrienne Fessler
34 | Bethlehem
She relishes the unpredictable and describes herself as outgoing, honest and “a bit goofy at times.” Adrienne, a regional vice president with Arbonne and an employee at Lululemon Athletica, says, “I get to choose what I do every day and how I spend it; it’s something I truly love about my life.” Her days involve a gamut between meetings or webcasts with Arbonne and a possible shift at Lululemon. Most regularly, she fits in at least one to two workouts. From running to yoga to mountain biking, Adrienne’s main hobbies involve staying fit—apart from shopping, which is arguably a workout in itself.
After living in the Philadelphia suburbs for about ten years, she returned to the Valley—her hometown—and discovered a new appreciation for the area. “It’s a great place to be, and I love living in Downtown Bethlehem now where I can walk to places,” she says. Yet, she doesn’t think the Lehigh Valley makes it either better or worse to be single. She doesn’t typically go out with the intent of meeting single men. If you see her at one of her favorite spots—The MINT, Molinari’s, Molly’s for watching sports games and The Funhouse for live music—she’s probably meeting a friend and capping off her evening with a glass of wine. She says, “I just go to places I enjoy to spend time at with my friends.” Nevertheless, she’s definitely looking for her beau. She’s happy in her life, but with faith, strong morals and family values on her dating radar, she says, “I do desire to be in a committed relationship with someone who could be my husband.” Some of her friends call her picky when it comes to men: “I’ve always believed in not settling for less than what you want or deserve.” Between work, family, social life and settling back into the area, Adrienne’s comfortable and content as she’s growing herself as a person. “I have complete faith that I will meet someone at the right time,” she says.
Her first-date preference is to meet for a cocktail after dinner hours just to get to know each other. Then, she’d love to see where things go at a winery for a tasting and then dinner in the evening. Some advice? Prove you’re honest and can make her laugh.
Luis Cayamcela
32 | Bethlehem
It’s about eight in the evening, and the easy-going Dr. Lou—as his patients call him—is just off to work at St. Luke’s hospital in Bethlehem. He assures, “If you come in with chest pain at two in the morning and need to be admitted, I’m your man!” For him, free time is hard to come by. After about 12 hours of admissions and taking care of patients as an attending physician, he typically takes a few hours to grocery shop, prepare meals and head to the gym before finally going to sleep at noon. He has settled comfortably in a nocturnal lifestyle, but when it comes to dating, he says, “That sleep schedule carries over to my days off, and it makes meeting new people somewhat difficult.” Still, Luis aspires to share his life with someone.
“I am now emotionally, physically and professionally happy and mature enough to be in a relationship,” he says. His journey out of medical school took him from his hometown in Atlanta, Georgia, to St. Luke’s University Health Network after fulfilling a residency here at the Bethlehem campus, and now, he says, “I’m happy to call Bethlehem my second home.”
Days off are a healthy mix between laid-back and adventurous. When he’s not catching up on sleep, at the gym, playing piano or watching football, you’ll see Luis traveling or exploring the Valley with the company of friends. He always has his eye out for a woman with long hair, who is physically fit and who carries herself with confidence. Listing off places like Tapas on Main, Corked, Broadway Social and ROAR Social House, Luis says, “There are numerous gems throughout the Valley that are perfect for meeting other single people.”
He adds, “Even while just walking around the shops at the Promenade you can run into interesting people.”
Ideally, Luis seeks to find someone whom he can be himself with, a connection that doesn’t require too much effort to keep the conversation going. His ultimate weakness? A woman’s eyes. Luis says, “You can tell a lot from a single stare or glance.”
Liz Hunt
33 | Emmaus
“A good woman is hard to find,” says Liz Hunt, a licensed mortgage loan originator for Lehigh Valley’s Residential Home Funding Corporation. For her, the most difficult part about finding a partner in the Valley’s singles' scene is a combination of standards and timing. “I look for not only dynamic personalities but the same moral and ethical standards,” she says, adding, “I have faith that the right person will come to me at the right time.”
Some would describe Liz as confident and outgoing, while others would deem her nothing short of rambunctious. Yet, she affirms that underneath a high-spirited, “thick-headed at times” exterior is a sensitive, hopeless romantic. After splitting up with a long-term girlfriend because “it just wasn’t meant to be,” Liz says, “I am absolutely looking for a relationship. It takes a lot of work, but a relationship is also the most rewarding part of life when both people have the same goals and understanding of the work it takes.” Right now, her days involve a leisurely breakfast and coffee while checking emails, then a trip to the gym and back home to get ready for the office. After a few hours at local real estate agencies before working from home in the afternoon, she usually enjoys happy hour or a nice dinner with friends. Liz tries to get out of the house as much as possible; “I don’t watch a lot of TV,” she says.
Weekends for her involve yard work, visiting her parents (whom she considers two of her best friends), spending time outdoors with her camera or on local hiking trails, and one of her favorites: fine dining with intellectual conversation. However, Liz’s ideal date would be either enjoying a homemade dinner with drinks outside on a warm summer night or a trip to Dorney Park. “I’m a big kid at heart,” she says, and she’s looking for a woman who values that and can make her laugh, challenge her intellectually and who can appreciate food and drink just as much as she does. As far as physical traits, Liz finds women of all shapes, sizes and colors beautiful in different ways.
“I am positive that meeting people in the Valley is all a state of mind; if you’re unhappy being single here, then you will be unhappy being single anywhere,” she says. Dating history has proved to Liz that you will meet someone when you least expect it, so she tries to keep an open mind and an open heart.
Evan Howard
25 | Breinigsville
As the owner of his own business, a functioning wellness center called Forward Thinking Fitness, Evan’s work ethic is uncharacteristic for someone his age. “From the time I wake up until the few moments before I fall asleep, I’m working in some way. That can definitely deter a partner away from a relationship with me,” he says. Still, his nature as an optimist and sociable single allows for exciting experiences in the Valley.
He says the area is unique, and “There are certainly more families established than singles, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t an opportunity to enjoy the single life around here; you just have to be outgoing.” Evan believes at some point in time he’ll find his other half, and for him in particular, he hopes to find someone who is willing to put enough energy into the relationship. Despite his busy lifestyle, if a woman makes the effort, he says, “they’re certainly going to get that energy right back.” Having had only one serious relationship in the past, which ended simply because, as Evan says, “it was time for both of us to move on,” his only serious commitment thus far has been to expanding his business. After actively searching for “someone special” for a few years after college—someone genuine and low maintenance with a sense of humor, a great smile and pretty eyes—Evan says he’s put his search on pause: “I’ve realized that it’s better to allow things to come together in that part of my life. Every other part has worked out, and in time a healthy relationship will come along.”
Leaving his romance up to fate, Evan enjoys his time off of work by being active outdoors—hiking, outdoor concerts, mini golf, amusement parks, bike riding or road tripping to a new area. When it’s winter in the Valley, he loves trying out new restaurants, going to the movies or comedy shows, heading to sports games and even playing laser tag. You won’t typically find him out and about for happy hour, but he says that after improving his work-life balance and learning you can go almost anywhere to meet someone, “You just have to be a little gutsy and willing to interact with strangers.” If he stumbles upon a date in the future, Evan says, “Good conversation paired with something completely spontaneous would be perfect.”
Tony Duncan
35 | Allentown
Until about a year ago, Tony was in love and deeply involved with his high school sweetheart. “She was one of the smartest and best-looking girls in school, and she was supposed to be my last girl,” he says, emphasizing his disappointment with a sad-face emoji. Yet, when long-term decisions needed to be made, life simply took the young lovers into separate directions.
Tony’s life path landed him a career as the head of graphic design and visual communications at the Lehigh Valley Faces marketing and development firm, where he considers himself a workaholic, but “That’s because I’m not in a relationship, married or have any children to spend time with,” he says. Following his morning regime of a “Men’s Health workout, a balanced breakfast and a protein shake,” Tony heads to work to manage his print and design duties until around 6:30 p.m., sometimes working until midnight during more demanding weeks. One of his more endearing habits is that Tony sends positive “good morning” text messages of encouragement to family members and co-workers. In fact, he tries his best to be an “it’s the thought that counts” kind of guy, which he credits to his upbringing.
When he’s not focusing on the responsibilities that go along with his job title, Tony enjoys being single. “I have an openness for experience which entails a strong appreciation for adventure, music and the arts of all sorts,” he says. Whether it’s in the arts, culture or sports, his hobbies span a hodgepodge of activities from Latin dancing to fine tuning his digital playlist to dirt biking to the theatre. Don’t worry though, ladies; Tony enjoys spending some of his free time dating and meeting new people. He’s a sucker for romance, and he says, “Even though many have come close, I still have yet to find that one woman who complements me.” Many of the new restaurants on Allentown’s Hamilton Street have earned his adoration, like The Dime, The Hamilton and grain., where he “fell in love” with the chicken and waffles dish and a drink called the Honey Nut Old Fashioned. He revealed his ideal first date: a daylong motorcycle ride throughout the Valley with a “curvier, professional woman who knows what she wants,” experiencing something new and stopping at various restaurants. Want to gain one step forward to Tony’s heart? Put down the cell phone.
Caitlyn McGouldrick
29 | Bethlehem
Her contentment—and confidence—as a single, driven young woman in the Valley is evident in her response to exactly what she’s looking for. Caitlyn says, “I’m not ‘looking’ for a prince charming at the end of a fairy tale.” After working long days at Bethlehem’s St. Luke’s Health Network as a medical administrator, a job she “absolutely loves,” her evenings involve working out, spending time with family, working on projects at her home in Fountain Hill or going to local events. “I find myself to be an equal balance between a socialite and a homebody,” she says.
Apart from pet sitting as a side venture, playing softball, shopping and being “a little too much in love with sleep time,” Caitlyn typically picks one night out of every week to stay out late and enjoy the local singles scene. You’ll often see her at ArtsQuest events, Style happy hours, restaurants for wine-pairing dinners as well as the “endless events that pop up on Facebook” around Allentown’s up-and-coming Hamilton Street and Downtown Bethlehem. For now, she truly enjoys being single in the Valley, which according to her is “awesome,” and she wouldn't change any of the experiences she’s had. “It's exciting to know that I can live a great life, happy on my own,” she says, “but with that said, if someone comes along who will enhance my life, and whom I can do the same for, then I'm open to it.” The most serious relationship she’s had for most of her adult life has been with herself, and right now, Caitlyn’s just “soaking up youth, freedom and independence.”
Terrible dates seem to amass one after another for her, but it’s more about a man’s character than the actual date, she indicates, recollecting “men with no drive, no goals, no establishment, too into themselves, who have nothing interesting to talk about and are just drama, drama, drama.” Changing Caitlyn’s single status is not going to be an easy feat for any man, but then again, affairs of the heart are never simple. Her requirements aren’t elaborate: a hard worker who’s driven, handy, athletic and has a sense of style. She says, “If we vibe, enjoy a good debate and feelings are mutual, it’s going to be a good time.”
Trevor Shelbo
33 | Bethlehem
“I’m just an ordinary guy looking for an extraordinary girl,” says Trevor Shelbo, a sales and marketing consultant for Dun & Bradstreet’s North American group in Center Valley.
According to him, he’s been single “probably too long.” He aims to debunk the belief that there are two types of people out there: those who are always in relationships and those who are always single. “I’ve always been the latter. People often tell me that my dream girl doesn’t exist, but I will continue to look,” he says.
For him, no two days are the same. Between managing customer portfolios and working directly with customers and internal partners to help them grow their businesses, “It’s a wild ride,” he says. “But I enjoy the challenge, and the people I work with are great.” He winds down after work by cooking, reading, taking walks and watching movies. Otherwise, on weekends and when he’s feeling up for happy hour, Trevor tries to switch it up between the downtown areas of Easton, Allentown and Bethlehem. “The restaurant and bar scene is definitely modern and exciting in the Valley,” he says, pointing to Bar Louie as his favorite happy hour drink spot.
The toughest part about dating for Trevor is figuring out what the person is thinking and how they feel. “Sometimes you don’t know until you’ve seen each other a few times, but for me, I generally know if there is a connection fairly quickly into the date,” he says, also confessing that he’s very picky. It’s a 21st century struggle for him. “With the whole online dating dynamic and an endless number of potential matches, people are becoming more and more selective.” He tries to rely on a close network of family and friends in order to meet someone. Trevor’s first dates typically involve just coffee or drinks because, “It’s less formal and you have an out if there isn’t a spark,” he says. He’s looking for someone like him who enjoys the simple things, is laid-back and is a good communicator. While most people get married in their twenties and start families, Trevor considers himself a part of a growing demographic that is waiting to get married. But in the end, he knows his “dream girl” is out there somewhere.
By Joshua Herring | Photography by Elaine Zelker
