Veronica Moore's personal development brand Alma & Eva coaches women in moving past their fears and seizing their potential. Named for Moore's grandmothers, it embodies their loving encouragement to leave a legacy. Is something holding you back from making your mark on the world? Here's Moore's map to living beyond F.E.A.R.
Why the Acronym?
Unpacking the acronym is a bit like Moore's method of unpacking fear itself. F.E.A.R. stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. What do we believe about ourselves or the world that's really not true?
In a personal development session early in Moore's journey, she asked herself what she would be able to do if fear weren't a factor. Public speaking seemed impossible, and this obstacle stood in the way of living out her dreams. Investigating this belief, she encountered the trauma of a childhood talent show. “My fear on that stage drilled into my head that I would never be able to speak in front of thousands of people,” she says.
The evidence she'd been going on since that day seemed to prove that getting in front of a crowd was not safe, not possible, but Moore was ready for a new reality.
Give Your Fears a Face
Our fears can feel so self-evident we don't even recognize that they're optional. The first step to challenging them is the desire to change, noticing that you're not quite happy or fulfilled. Something doesn't sit right and you're done ignoring it.
When you're willing to shake things up, try the practice Moore assigns in her workshops: the F.E.A.R. Dump. Write out every fear you've felt onto a page. Seeing them in front of you gives space to acknowledge the temporary power they've held over you and start to evaluate where you learned them and how real the evidence is behind them.
Find & Replace
A belief like, “I don't have time to start my own business,” could be the false evidence sublimating a fear of failure (or success!). “It stays and grows because we feed it,” Moore says. It takes guts to be honest with ourselves about what we truly want and what we truly want to believe about it.
Moore's a big advocate of affirmations. Our words have power whether we speak and write that power for ourselves or let it creep into our subconscious with false beliefs. Countering her fear of an audience with the conviction, “I will become a well-sought-after public speaker,” brought that wish into reality. “Goals you don't write down,” Moore says, “are just dreams.”
F.E.A.R. is Contagious
Fear can be immensely useful when it protects us from real dangers, but when we're convinced that our dreams are too threatening to follow, it can hold back more than just ourselves. Moore's trauma was tied to performing, and if she hadn't worked through it, she might have discouraged her bold and boisterous daughter from ever stepping on a stage.
Give Yourself Grace
“You don't just wake up and stop believing in your fears,” Moore says. “We have to allow ourselves to feel what we feel—that pain, grief or fear—but don't get stuck there.”
Give yourself small tasks every single day toward defying your F.E.A.R., and you can build your comfort level in a way that reinforces new beliefs. “Do it for seven days straight,” Moore says. “Then keep going to 14, and then 21.”
Just as artists step back to see how their painting is coming along, set aside time for reflection on how the journey is going. Mindlessly cranking on a to-do list is a recipe for burnout and ending up back where you started. You have to be present for the process. “We can't notice that we're growing if we're not paying attention,” Moore says.
Recognizing and reveling in your progress is part of the path!
Better Together
“The framework includes creating a personal action plan to develop a new mindset,” Moore says. “We identify goals and action steps, and set up checkpoints along the way.” Moore's No F.E.A.R. Journal provides a tool to dig in to the framework and start dismantling the false evidence you've taken to heart, but it can also be useful to buddy up for added accountability and support.
In Moore's workshops, women share their answers, give feedback on their action plans and even follow up with each other to encourage progress. Learning that we all go through similar challenges is grounding and takes the sting out of shame.
Whether in a workshop or among your own network, draw on a sisterhood to cheer each other on!
The Expert:
Veronica Moore
Owner/Curator of Alma & Eva
