Alison Conklin Photography
Pam Anderson
Founding Director, Copper House Events | copperhouseevents.com
Founding director of Copper House Events Pam Anderson doesn’t entertain, she has people over. This vital human activity is not reserved for the perfectly poised and prepared, and doesn’t need to be expensive and exhausting. Here are some of her tips to feel good about opening your home to friends and family, for the holidays or anytime.
Relax
I’ve noticed that instead of inviting each other to their homes, people will say let’s meet for drinks or dinner,” Anderson says. We’re hosting less and less. It’s natural to feel a little bit anxious about trying something new, but this might be a skill worth developing, and something not as daunting as it first seems. “It’s such a beautiful thing and such a gift when you invite others into your home,” Anderson says. “The art of hosting needs to be revived.”
When Anderson’s friend was diagnosed with cancer and a spontaneous gathering was called over a haphazard table, the tender heart of having people over was revealed. “Good food is important, don’t get me wrong,” she says, “but what matters is the spirit in which you’re serving it—not worrying whether you did it right or if you’re cool enough.
These days anything that you make yourself is special.” The key ingredient is the proper spirit.
Delegating
Hosting gatherings is also a great way to showcase your guests’ strengths. Your cousin with the cocktail craze could be responsible for drinks before dinner, while a friend with the famous banana pudding recipe can have a chance to shine with dessert. “Most people are happy to contribute,” Anderson says. “They want to help, but it’s important to take charge and guide them on what to bring.”
One couple always brings oysters to Anderson’s Thanksgiving gathering, which they enjoy outside by a fire to kick things off. Offerings like these bring personality to our traditions. Not everyone is a foodie, but everyone has something valuable to contribute. If someone excels at running a game of trivia or organizing activities, invite them to do that. Even simply bringing a bottle of wine is a welcome option. Knowing your guests and asking them to share their talents sets the social wheels in motion.
To further personalize your gathering and avoid waste, serve what you genuinely enjoy. While charcuterie boards are popular, leftover cheeses and oily meats can be impractical to use up. Anderson prefers smoked salmon and a zesty cream cheese spread with bagel chips. Make what you’ll be happy to find in your fridge the next day.
Décor and Supplies
Hosting a gathering, especially a larger one, can feel like it requires a lot of infrastructure. Allow yourself to be inspired by Anderson’s low-effort, high-return strategies.
Living on a wooded property, she can mingle fresh-cut flowers with foraged greens, but she also favors simple purchases. She might pick up pruned boughs or a balled tree from a local Christmas tree farm to decorate outside. Big bowls brimming with apples from a local orchard make a lovely display of abundance and double as snacks or future applesauce. Heaps of citrus at the bar are both lovely and functional. “I like buying things that have multiple uses,” she says. Juiced leftovers last in the freezer to quickly contribute to future cocktails.
If you prefer dedicated décor, Anderson endorses the reused route. Search Facebook Marketplace for items that match your taste and style—there’s always someone looking to offload items that could be perfect for your gathering. Remember, your guests are there to see you, not a showroom for the latest trends.
"I love it when two unexpected people might find themselves walking at the same pace and start talking."
Mill or Mingle?
Creating shared activities can help bring people together. A puzzle in progress, for example, can draw guests of all ages into a relaxed, fun activity and casual conversation. For younger guests, setting up a coloring station shows they are welcome and considered, not just an afterthought.
After a big dinner like Thanksgiving you often see people going for a walk. “It’s an opportunity to break into small groups,” Anderson points out. “I love it when two unexpected people might find themselves walking at the same pace and start talking. That’s really what all of this is about.”
Whether gathered around a table, sitting by a bonfire or strolling along a sidewalk, the true power and beauty of having people over lie in the opportunity to deepen relationships. Expectations might seem high, but the truth is, if you have the courage to say “Come over,” most people are delighted to accept. Approach hosting with a relaxed spirit and laugh off your mistakes, and your guests will laugh and relax right along with you.
Published as “Ask the Expert” in the November 2024 edition of Lehigh Valley Style magazine.
