Kids average about 50 hours of screen time per week.
Parenting is hard enough without having to keep up with the ramifications of exponentially evolving technology, but there's no way around it. A mom of four teenage sons and cofounder/CEO of Momosa Publishing (publisher of the Mommy MD Guides), Jennifer Bright Reich offers some advice on raising kids in the digital age.
Stay Involved
We can all agree that keeping our kids safe is top priority, and in today's world, “That means holding their hands while they're crossing a street, teaching them not to touch a hot stove,” Reich says, “and showing them the way to be safe online and using technology.”
To do that, you'll have to familiarize yourself with the content, platforms and online multiplayer games that your kids are into, from your toddler Facetiming with Grandma to your teen posting videos on TikTok.
“For example,” Reich says, “the other day, my youngest son mentioned a new social media app I had never heard of. We talked about it right away. I asked him what it was, how it worked and what he's using it for.”
Just as you would get to know your kid's friends and their parents in the real world, try to get to know their online friends as well. “Be sure your child gains your permission before buying or downloading a game,” Reich says. Watch the game with them, or better yet, play along!
Set Some Ground Rules
Native to technology, youngsters seem to take to it like ducks to water, but part of digital literacy is understanding that what they write or post is permanent, how online privacy works (or doesn't!) and that their behavior online should be as civil and respectful as it is IRL. (Parents, this translates to “in real life.”) It's fair to impose some tech rules like no devices at the table, schoolwork and/or chores before play and stop playing or posting right away when called to dinner, for example.
As for making their own accounts, Reich respects the limit set by Facebook: No social media accounts before the age of 13.
What works for each family may be different, but setting a good example is always crucial. Your child should see you model good behaviors like manners online and limited media use.
Finding a balance between respecting a child's privacy and monitoring what they're up to will always present a challenge. “As children get older,” Reich says, “and earn trust, they should be rewarded with a little bit more privacy and responsibility. But it's important that both parent and child know that can be revoked at any time.”
Know the Warning Signs
“It's important to talk with kids about bullying,” Reich says, “both in real life and online.” Cyberbullying is especially insidious because it can go unnoticed, and plugged-in kids are vulnerable to it around the clock rather than just at school.
Watch out for signs of depression and bullying, including sadness, withdrawal and changes in behavior, eating and sleeping. Kids could be affected by interactions they're having, weird things they're stumbling upon and also the deleterious effects on self-esteem and mood that come from comparing oneself to the facade of fun and beauty curated by others for social media. Be open to conversations about all of this.
Complacency is where Reich thinks parents can easily go wrong, letting technology use go unexamined and trusting the media and/or their kids too much. One way to stay up on using media effectively is consulting commonsensemedia.org, where Reich often looks before buying a game. This nonprofit offers tons of info and tools like research, reviews and family contracts laying out safe, responsible conduct.
Acknowledge the Benefits of Social Media & Technology
The new world of social media and technology isn't all shriveled attention spans and stranger danger. Like any tool, it can be used for good. With phones and tablets, kids are experimenting with taking and editing photos, how to express themselves in writing and how to communicate.
“Many games, like Minecraft, teach positive things, such as building and the value of hard work,” Reich says. “They have virtual playdates every single day,” she adds, and rich, rewarding, strong friendships.
“When I watch my sons play, I often hear them chatting and interacting with their friends—not just playing. I hear them talk about what they want to do and how they feel,” says Reich. “It reminds me of when I was a teen and I would stretch the phone cord down the basement steps so I could chat for hours with my BFFs.”
While growing up has changed a lot, it still means finding the balance between safety and exploration that leads to an independent life.
The Expert:
Jennifer Bright Reich
Cofounder/CEO
Momosa Publishing | 610.216.0913 | momosapublishing.com
