Planning a wedding is an extremely daunting task considering you've probably never thrown a celebration this monumental before. Like anything else in life, it's wise to learn from those who have already pulled it off. That's why we asked some past brides to spill their secrets on what they wish they knew before they said "I do," what's actually worth stressing over and what they would have changed looking back. Get ready to take note!
Kelly Chando
October 4, 2014Elaine Zelker Photography
What do you wish you knew before you began planning your wedding?
“Be courteous but not apologetic.” There are many choices you will have to make, and they won't always be easy. Almost everyone will have an opinion, but stick together and feel confident in your decisions anyway. Those that truly love you will support you without question.
What's the best piece of advice you received while planning your wedding?
To discuss what is most important to you and your fiancé (music, food, venue, flowers, etc.) and to allocate your money towards those areas. If you can save on items not as high on your priority list, then do so. You will appreciate that you have more funds available for the next step you take together as a family, such as buying a home.
What was the most stressful part about planning your wedding?
Wanting to please everyone and rationalizing the cost of items that were highly inflated due to the “wedding industry.”
What was the most rewarding part about planning your wedding?
The smiles and happiness we shared when we made a big decision together and the satisfaction of being able to “check something off the list.”
Generally speaking, if you had to do it all over, what would you do differently?
My husband and I were engaged for two and a half years and if we could do it all over again, we would have had a shorter engagement. The extra time we had caused more (unnecessary) stress because we would one-up ourselves throughout the process. Rather than being forced to make a decision, sometimes we had the ability to look at too many alternatives or selections, and it became overwhelming.
What is the one piece of advice you would give to future brides?
- Focus on the two of you, and make decisions that will make you happy on the wedding day, but also long-term. While there may be some ups and downs in the process, never let them derail you from the true purpose of the day and your plans for the future. It is a day to celebrate the two of you.
- No matter how detailed you are, not everything will go as planned. It's inevitable; but don't let it consume you. If at the end of it all you are (finally) married, it will truly be one of the best days of your life. You get to walk away with a forever partner, friend and teammate. No one will remember that the color of your flowers was slightly off or that the wrong limo arrived. They will remember the love they saw and felt that day, and the fun they had celebrating alongside you.
- I can't stress enough how important it is to remember to slow down on your big day. Take a few moments as a couple to sit back and really take it all in. It's an indescribable feeling to know that so many family and friends are there to support you and love you as much as you love one another. Those moments you share make the entire planning process well worth it.
- Don't forego that honeymoon! You will truly appreciate the time you have to relax with one another and create your first memorable moments as a married couple. It will set the tone for the beginning of your marriage.
Mary Beth Stellar
June 20, 2015Josh Finsel & Amber Breiner
What do you wish you knew before you began planning your wedding?
How dirty my dress would be by the end of the day! After keeping my dress and veil pristine until the last moment, I was so surprised to be picking pieces of grass and leaves out of all of the delicate lace from being outdoors for pictures.
What's the best piece of advice you received while planning your wedding?
Be a professional when working with vendors. It's easy to get carried away and emotional over something you have envisioned for years. Remember that your team has successfully executed their part of (most likely) hundreds of weddings. When your florist recommends a flower that holds up better under summer heat or your photographer tells you to budget half of an hour to get into a lace-up dress, trust them because they are the pros!
What was the most stressful part about planning your wedding?
Details that couldn't be done until the days just before the wedding, such as escort cards. I checked as much off the list ahead of time as possible but I ended up printing those out three different times. I knew our seating arrangement by heart by the end of the wedding.
What was the most rewarding part about planning your wedding?
Taking the time to visit with guests at their tables even though we had done a receiving line. We got to spend more time with our favorite people on a day that goes by so quickly than we would have if we hadn't done a table-to-table visit. We also got more opportunities for pictures (both candid and posed) and stole moments with anyone who didn't hit the dance floor or get to stay until the end of the night.
Generally speaking, if you had to do it all over, what would you do differently?
Break in ALL of my shoes. I practiced in my heels and they were great, but the flats I had for the rest of the day were new. I ended up spending more time in those than my heels, and by the end of the night I was barefoot because my feet were killing me.
What is the one piece of advice you would give to future brides?
When people offer to help, take it! Friends and family who want to help know that this is a big event and often go the extra mile to make the day special. When you have an hour back to spend relaxing with your bridesmaids the day before the wedding instead of tying dozens of bows, you will be glad you took up someone's offer to do them for you. Also, know the difference between what you can control and what you can plan for. I couldn't do anything about the rainy forecast, but I definitely bought umbrellas just in case. We only needed one and it wasn't until we were leaving the after-party!
Meghan Szvetecz
August 9, 2014Birds of a Feather Photography
What do you wish you knew before you began planning your wedding?
I had a general idea of how much money we wanted to spend, but I wish I knew the true cost of a wedding. Thank goodness we had a small guest list.
What's the best piece of advice you received while planning your wedding?
Relax and enjoy your special day—it will fly by! And don't worry so much about the little details—your guests won't notice if they're missing, only you will. (Full disclosure: I didn't really follow this advice and I regret it.)
What was the most stressful part about planning your wedding?
Trying to keep the cost under control while still pulling off an elegant event that fit my vision. I had to quickly decide where I was willing to splurge and where I was going to hold back. Ultimately, food and photography were two aspects where we were not going to cut corners.
What was the most rewarding part about planning your wedding?
I'm a Type A control freak—there was no other option! The best part was working with Abby and Meg of Fox & Finch Vintage Rentals to bring my Pinterest boards to life. How did women ever plan weddings before Pinterest?!
Generally speaking, if you had to do it all over, what would you do differently?
All the worrying I did about the forecast and the logistics did me no good. I think society puts a tremendous amount of pressure on brides to achieve perfection when really the only thing that matters is that you're going to be spending your life with the one you love. Yes, we all want that one perfect day, but what's most important are all the other days you spend together after the wedding.
What is the one piece of advice you would give to future brides?
- Plan it quick, be decisive and stay organized (I planned my wedding in six months and would highly recommend it).
- Your wedding is not a time to be a people-pleaser—it's a day for you and your partner.
- Be kind to each other throughout the planning process and always check in to be sure that you and your partner are on the same page.
- Create Pinterest boards for every aspect of your wedding and share with vendors so they understand your vision.
- Buy dresses on bhldn.com and try them on in the comfort of your home with a trusted (and stylish) friend.
- Unless you have tons of skilled family members and friends, do not attempt to DIY your entire wedding. I tied pink ribbon onto favor boxes the day before (with a fresh manicure) and it took me hours!
- Get a spray tan two days prior.
