Dating—40’s +
Dating is very different in your 40’s than it was in your 20’s, so let’s take a look as some of the unique issues and find a way to navigate the waters!
When you are in your 40’s, you may have children that you are raising. Even if you do not, chances are that your potential dates will have children, which makes dating at this time particularly challenging. When you are dating you should not let them meet your children until you are sure that this is a serious relationship. It takes time to know someone and safety for your children should be the top priority. This means that if you set up an online dating profile, do not have photos of your children.
The statistics for online dating is that at least 1/3 of the profiles are deceptive or fraudulent so you do not want any potential predators finding out too much information too soon—always err on the side of safety. Online dating also offers a wider range of people to meet outside of your local area. This is something to keep in mind because someone that is not close by will be much more difficult to see, especially when you both have family obligations.
Take advantage of your local Chamber of Commerce, which has monthly gatherings for members and non members. This is a good place to help launch your career and your social life.
Dating—50’s +
This is the largest demographic of singles and growing. It’s the time when the kids may be in college and the focus can turn to you again. Most people at this stage of their life know themselves better and know what qualities are most important in a partner. These are good things! Find those things in life that make you happy. If you love to travel there are singles vacations to check out. If you always wanted to learn something new now is the time. Interesting people are attracted to interesting people. Be interesting!
The top picks for online dating sites are Match.com and OurTime.com. Remember to listen to your intuition; if you see a red flag pay attention! Don’t waste time chatting, after a few emails decide to meet for coffee or a drink (drive yourself and meet at a public place). You will learn more in five minutes in person than you will in five months of emails.
AARP has teamed up with HowAboutWe.com, an online site with members that will post a date idea and see who would like to do the same activity. Meetup.com is a great place to meet others with common interests, plus there are singles events in your local area. I also recommend charity events and volunteering as places to meet quality singles.
Let friends and family know that you are “single and looking.” Don’t assume that people will automatically think of you when they meet someone who may be a good match. You have to tell them that you would appreciate it if they think of you when the situation arises.
Dating Do’s
It’s important to remember that no matter what age you’re dating, pay attention to who is around you while you live your life. You have to notice the people around you, smile and make eye contact. Do you actually realize how often you are in the moment? How many times do you look around, or are you looking at your phone and ignoring the rest of the world? The reality is that most of us are so wrapped up in our own thoughts that we do not pay attention to others around us. There are opportunities available, dating and otherwise, as we go about our day but we have to be in that world to notice them!
